The Transformation
by TheGirlOfManyObsessions
Summary: Have you ever wondered what was going through Kyo's mind when he transformed into his true form in front of Tohru? KxT one-shot.


**_**FRUITS BASKET READERS/WATCHERS ONLY! NONE OF THIS WILL MAKE SINCE IF YOU'VE NEVER READ/WATCHED IT!!**_**

**Okay, yes, this is a brand new kind of story for me, so I hope I did really well on this.**

**I have become obsessed with this anime show, Fruits Basket, am currently in the process of trying to read the manga, and I always wondered what Kyo was thinking during his transformation… Well, this is what I thought! This is mainly about Kyo's struggles with who he is because of the Sohma Curse of the Zodiac, and the monstrous part of Kyo's curse as the cat.**

**Disclaimer: Takaya sensei, can I PLEASE have Fruits Basket???**

**Takaya Natsuki: No.**

**Me: Pwetty pwease?**

**Takaya Natsuki: Not a chance.**

**Me: ... Then can I have Kyo?!?!**

**Takaya Natsuki: No!**

**Me: Damn... *cries in emo corner***

**Enjoy!!**

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"She saw me! She saw me! SHE SAW ME! It's all over now! It's all over! There's no hope…"

I raced through the forest, my claws carelessly and furiously tearing at everything in my path. Fear, resentment, rejection, betrayal, disdain; all of these feelings blinded my vision. My large paw feet smashed plants and ran over rocks as I continued my rampage away from the house that I might never return to.

I could feel hot tears streaming down my face, mixing in with the pouring rain. I had never felt so betrayed in my entire life.

Damn, that Kazuma! How could he!? I looked to my master for guidance, and he turns into a traitor; taking my beads, causing my true form to emerge; the form that I wanted one person to never see; Tohru.

That thought of Tohru caused me to slow my pace. The thought of her caused my tears to come harder. I pushed my feet to run faster and stronger still.

I had no idea how far I ran, but I eventually came to a stop at a lake nearby. I sat on a boulder and let the rain drench my already sopping scaly skin and pants; shirt, torn and discarded when I had transformed. My mind raced, making my head pound.

One might think that I would be afraid of rejection or fear from someone if they saw me in this state. But for me, that is not the case. I _wanted_ to be feared. All my life, I had been told they were not afraid of me, of the real me.

And that was the problem. No one ever saw the real me! They never looked closely enough to see the real me!

But I wanted to be accepted too. No one really accepted me as much as they said they did. They only said it to make me feel better about myself, but it only caused me to hate myself even more. They all said they weren't afraid, when in fact I caused them pain every time they saw me.

These memories brought back ones of the person who resented me the most; my own mother.

"_Kyo, what's wrong? Is something bothering you?"_

I heard the voice of my mother in my head from many years ago.

"_Did Akito say something to you again? It's alright."_

I slapped my claws over my head and long ears. That is what always would get me! "It's alright, it's alright." It's not alright! I'm a hideous monster and everyone says they accept it, automatically. Not one person cared enough to really look at me, the real me. Not one! And God damn it, I was sick of it!

"_It's alright because… I still love you, at least."_

Hearing that made me growl. She didn't mean it; she never meant it. No one did.

"_I still love you more than anything."_

"Shut up!" I yelled, though the sound was a monstrous roar. "Stop it!" My claws came flying down onto a rock in exasperation. "I love you" doesn't change the hell what I am! "It's alright" doesn't make me any less of this damn horrid monster that I'm cursed with!!

I was tired of people telling me it was alright of what I was. But it wasn't, and they would never know.

"_You're still human just like everybody else."_

My head shot up into the direction where no one stood, but from where I had heard her voice. I lowered my head when I saw no one there.

"_It's alright; I'm not the slightest bit afraid of you."_

"No," I said to myself. "You really were afraid of me, weren't you? That's why you checked me dozens of time a day to make sure my beads hadn't come of or anything."

"_I am so proud of you; you're my son."_

"In that case, why didn't you ever let me go out?"

"_You were so adorable, I-I wanted to keep you all to myself."_

"You were ashamed of me," I thought angrily out loud once again.

"_No! I-I love you! I would die for you, I-I love you so much!"_

"Why is that all you ever said to me?! You never really accepted me, not the real me! You were just saying the things you thought a mom was supposed to say…"

A new and disapproving voice suddenly came into my head; the voice of my father.

"_You're mother loved you more than anyone."_

"STOP!!" I yelled. I couldn't take the lies anymore. My claws covered my face.

Soon, I heard the light squelching of feet in the mud. I shot my head up to see someone who I was shocked yet afraid to see; Tohru.

The sight of her was one I had never seen before. She looked so broken, her hair all tangled and soaked from the rain, covered in mud and water from head to toe. She walked with a limp, looking as though she was going to fall over. Tohru looked so weak and fragile as I had never seen her. But when she lifted her head, it nearly tore me apart.

Her deep blue eyes had lost the sparkle they usually had. They were dull and dark, full of shed and unshed tears. Her eyes looked as though they had seen to much pain for someone of her age.

My claws clenched around the rock I was still holding it, crushing some of it in my hands.

"You, too… Even you…" I growled at her in that monstrous snarl. She acted just like the rest of them. No one could ever show so much care for me and mean it. It felt too real for my liking, and I had to get away from her

Tohru took a step and stumbled a bit. As this was happening, I turned so I could run away again. But as I did, I saw none other than that damn rat, Yuki.

He stared at me with a hard glare to which I replied with a snarl. But he just continued to stare me down. I was caught between him and Tohru.

Suddenly, she tilted and sank to her knees, due to her lack of strength now. I tried to make this as my excuse to leave, to get far away from her, from all of them, but I was stopped by Yuki grasping onto my leg, pinning me to the ground.

I thrashed at him, trying to pry him off of me, but he kept his hold and wrestled with me to keep me down on the ground.

"Is that all we do?" He asked suddenly. My grip didn't lessen, but my shoving ceased. "Run away?"

I looked at him with disdain as he spoke.

"Is that all we do!?" He shouted at me, tackling my leg more as I started to struggle again, causing my claw to slip, and creating three big gashes in his upper arm.

"Get the hell off of me, you damn rat!" I roared at him.

"Well, I for one am tired of running! I don't want to do it anymore!"

I stopped struggling again. His words were true, and as much as I hated to say it, he was right. I was a coward.

"Ms. Honda," he said to her. "Tell him the truth! Tell him what you think right now!"

My eyes were closed and head turned away. I didn't want to see her, but I didn't have to see to know how she looked.

She would look up with her deep blue, tear filled eyes and look at me. I could feel it, too. For some reason, I didn't want to see her face when she would tell me that she wasn't afraid. I didn't want to have to see the fear in hear eyes when I roared in rage.

But I did want to know what she thought. I had told her once to let people know what's on your mind, and right now was no exception. I had also told her to tell people what you want sometimes. And that's what I wanted her to do more than anything right now. I had never wanted her to speak her mind so much since I had met her.

Soon I turned my head to see her walking clumsily over to me and reached out. She grasped my arm in her tiny, fragile hands and cried, clutching it tightly.

"Let's go home," she whispered quietly. "Back to our house."

Then, I did something I so very much regretted and I would never forgive myself for it. I realized that she was doing what every one had been doing to me for years. She was just like the rest of them.

I then flung the arm that she was still grasping and swung her to the wet mud, trying to break free. But she still didn't let go, keeping her vise-like grip on me. In fact, she pulled herself closer to me, gathering my large arm up in her tiny ones, closer to her small, fragile body.

"I'm sorry," she whispered quietly, still crying. "I'm such a fool. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid of you, Kyo."

When she said that, my mind went blank. No one had ever said that to me. Not one person. No one ever admitted how afraid they were to me, and if she hadn't of told me, her eyes would've said it all. She was truly afraid of me, of my form. And, for some reason, I hated that I made her this way with every fiber of my being.

"But…"

I stopped thinking when I heard the 'but'. That meant there was more. I didn't know if it was good or bad that she said but, so I stayed still and listened.

"But still, I want us to stay together. I do; always. I want to eat our meals together, and study together, and worry together. I want to tell you the things that are on my mind, Kyo!"

As I listened to her, I felt so much immense joy. She had accepted me, despite my secret, and she admitted she was afraid. But she wasn't ashamed of me. With or without the beads, she still saw me, the real me; not just the monster, but the person behind it.

"I wouldn't listen to you before! And so, I want us to stay together!"

I stared at her, dumbstruck. I couldn't believe how much she cared. She had so much on her mind that she was hiding that is finally set free.

Soon, I noticed the rain stopped and I felt a pulse rushing through me. I felt myself start to become less scaly, less monstrous, and more human. I felt myself change until I was back to my original state, nothing on but my pants. Tohru still clung to my arm for dear life, as if she would never let go.

"It's okay," I said, more to myself than anyone. I felt her grip slightly release as she looked up at me to see me human again. "You don't have to-… You don't have to love everything.

"If you're-… If you're afraid, it just proves that you've truly seen the real me… Not like my mom…" I could tell Tohru was slightly confused, but I continued on.

"She went through all the motions of loving me, but she never even tried to see me. I wanted us to talk together. And worry together, too. I was fine with her being afraid. Even if she didn't love me in that ugly form… I wanted us to stay together." I felt a single tear roll down my face as I turned to look at her when I had finished.

Tohru looked up at me with her big beautiful round eyes, and I found myself enticed by them, being unable to look away. I suddenly felt a strange charge run right through my body and down my spine, filling me so completely.

"I've been a fool," I continued. "I didn't think that… anyone," I moved closer to her, my calloused hands slowly sliding down her soft, fragile arms to her delicate waist. "_Anyone_ would ever say that to me. Not to me." I moved my face closer to her and wrapped one arm around her body, caressing her silky soft skin, while the other went to the back of her head, my fingers weaving through her mahogany hair.

I suddenly grasped her slender elbow gently and pulled her to me with all my might and hugged her close, never wanting to let go, regardless of the upcoming consequences. I could never, ever show her enough gratitude for what she did for me today. My mouth moved closer to her ear as I whispered to her.

"Tohru," I whispered quietly, gently, and caring. "Tohru…"

This time, even I noticed it had the sound of need, want, and longing laced into each letter of her name. As I pulled her closer, I felt an all too familiar surge rush through me,

I felt my pants become looser until they slipped completely off me, a tail forming as well. I felt my hair cover every inch of my body and my hands and feet turning into the paws of a cat. Even so, I stayed as close to her as I could, resting, sprawled out across her leg.

"How is it that you could give me the words I needed to hear the most right now? How is it that somebody… somebody like you… could be here by my side, crying for me? How…?"

I peeked open one eye and saw a look in her eyes of one that I had never seen. The fear and sadness that were there before were now replaced with sheer happiness and utter compassion, caring, and love.

She smiled at me, a smile that made my heart rate skyrocket, and picked me up without a word, folding my muddy, torn, and mangled cargo pants over her arm. She looked down at me, still grinning, and pulled me closer to her. I quickly nuzzled into the crook of her neck, seeking the warmth of her that I so desperately needed.

I was vaguely aware of her saying a few words to Yuki, picking me up, and walking back home, for the only thing I noticed was her arms around me. I felt her arms tighten around me as I nuzzled as close to her as I could. That strange charge I had felt before returned, but the part that confused me was that I couldn't put a name to it. It made me feel happy, joyful, complete; whole somehow.

I suddenly considered thinking that the charge I felt may be love, but I couldn't be sure; it was just a passing thought. I had never felt pure love, which didn't give me much knowledge to know if I was in love or not.

I looked up at Tohru and saw her smiling that adorable smile at me, her blue eyes, wide and full of happiness, innocence, and care, and the first thing I thought of was, _"Never, ever let that smile go away again." _

I don't know if what I felt was love or not, but there was one thing I did know; I knew that there was no way that I would ever -could ever- look at her the same way again, nor would I –could I- ever let that smile stray from her beautiful face.

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**_Dedicated to Michael Jackson: August 29, 1958-June 25, 2009. He will live on in the hearts of millions._**

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**Well? What'cha think?! I actually thought I did really well on this, and I hope you do too! **

**Oh, and Microsoft Word knows nothing… When I finished writing this, I checked the "Readability Statistics". Apparently, my writing skill grade level for this story is equal to that of a fourth grader… Come on! How many fourth graders do you know who know what the word "disdain" means?? Raise your hand if you think "Readability Statistics" fails… *raises hand* ;) (Haha! Damn, do I sound conceited or what…? Haha!!) But seriously, I don't think it's THAT amazing, but it sure as hell is better than a damn fourth grade level! Curse you Microsoft and your lack of knowledge in the minds of youth!!**

**And yes, the dialogue is basically the show's dialogue.**

**I just finished watching the last episode today, so I was very sad. But I saw this scene and wondered, "What the hell must be going through his mind!?" And this is what I thought mind be close to what he was thinking… **

**I didn't label this story as a romance because, surprisingly enough, that isn't _really_ what it is. It was more about acceptance and understanding than anything else, but I'll just leave you to consider what that charge he felt was... ;)**

**Also, when I heard the news of Michael Jackson's death, I was more shocked than anything. I had never been a big fan of his music, but I loved his songs Thriller and Beat It, both of which are on my iPod. He had such amazing and raw talent, singing and dancing both. **

**R.I.P. Michael Jackson. We will all miss you so much.**

**R&R PLEASE!!!!!!**

**Thank you for reading!!**

**~Mrs. Kyo Sohma (AKA EdwardXBella4eva)**


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